One Hundred and One Ways to Annoy People 101如何烦扰的人

1. 1 。 Sing the Batman theme continuously.唱蝙蝠侠主题不断。

2. 2 。 In the memo field of all your checks, write “for best sex I ever paid for.”在备忘录中的所有领域,您的支票,写上“最好的性别是我支付” 。

3. 3 。 Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”指定您的驱动器-通过秩序,是“去” 。

4. 4 。 Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of “Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip…”学习摩尔斯电码,并已与朋友的谈话在公众构成的完全“ beeeep综合保险计划综合保险计划beeep综合保险计划… … ”

5. 5 。 Order Pizza to other people’s house.为了披萨给其他人的房子。

6. 6 。 Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.逗自己无休止小时连接摄像机到电视机上,然后将它指向屏幕上。 <

7. 7 。 Speak only in a “robot” voice.发言,只有在一个“机器人”的声音。

8. 8 。 Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.推动所有单位读件一起紧紧。

9. 9 。 Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will “swipe your grub”.开始,每一餐所突出的舔您所有的食物,并宣布,这是没有人会“刷卡您的蛴螬” 。

10. 10 。 Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.离开复印机设置,以减少200 % ,课外黑暗, 17英寸的文件, 98份。

11. 11 。 Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.单就小番茄酱的塑料包。

12. 12 。 Sniffle incessantly. sniffle不断。

13. 13 。 Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.请留下您谈谈对信号为五十○英里。

14. 14 。 Name your dog “Dog.” 15.名字你的狗“狗” 。 15 。 Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”坚持保留您的汽车挡风玻璃雨刷运行在所有的天气条件“ ,让他们调整了” 。

16. 16 。 Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what YOU think.”答复一切有人说, “这是什么,您认为” 。

17. 17 。 Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your “astronaut training.”声称你必须始终佩戴自行车头盔的一部分,您的“宇航员培训” 。

18. 18 。 Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for “violating your airspace”.申报您的公寓一个独立的国家,和控告你的邻居,楼上为“违反您的领空” 。

19. 19 。 Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a “real hoot.”忘记punchline一个长期的笑话,但向听众这是一个“真正的叫” 。

20. 20 。 Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.后续几步伐背后有人,喷涂的一切接触与苏。

21. 21 。 Practice making fax and modem noises.实践使传真和调制解调器的噪音。

22. 22 。 Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and “cc:” them to your boss.突出无关信息在科学论文和“抄送: ”他们向你的老板。

23. 23 。 Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.作出哔声的噪音,当一个大的人背起来。

24. 24 。 Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.发明胡说电脑行话在交谈,看看人民的发挥一直避免出现的无知。

25. 25 。 Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a “spider person.”竖立一个复杂的网络,绳索在您的后院,并告诉邻居你是一个“蜘蛛人” 。

26. 26 。 Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with the prophesy.”完成您所有的句子的话: “根据与预言” 。

27. 27 。 Wear a special hip holster for your磨损特别髋关节holster为您的
remote control.远程控制。

28. 28 。 Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you’ll be saying more any moment.不添加任何拐点到去年底,您的句子,产生尴尬的沉默与印象,就是您说的更多的任何时刻。

29. 29 。 Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.信号,即一个会话是由夹紧你的手你的耳朵。

30. 30 。 Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.拆开你的笔和“意外地”翻转墨盒跨房间。

31. 31 。 Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.提供一个发挥逐发挥帐户,一个人的一切行动在鼻腔内,霍华德cosell的声音。

32. 32 。 Holler random numbers while someone is counting. holler随机编号,而有人是计数。

33. 33 。 Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you “like it that way.”调整色彩在您的电视上,使全体人民是绿色,并坚持对他人的你“像这样说” 。

34. 34 。 Drum on every available surface.鼓对每一个可用的表面。

35. 35 。 Staple papers in the middle of the page.主食文件,在网页中间。

36. 36 。 Ask 1-800 operators for dates.请问1-800营办商的日期。

37. 37 。 Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.产生的租金视频构成的完全可怕的版权联邦调查局警告。

38. 38 。 Sew anti-theft detector strips缝纫反盗窃探测器带
into peoples backpacks.到人民的背包。

39. 39 。 Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.隐藏的奶类制品,在无法进入的地方。

40. 40 。 Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.写的突击结束,以一种新颖的关于其第一页。

41. 41 。 Set alarms for random times.设置闹铃随机倍。

42. 42 。 Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.为了一方的猪肉rinds与您请选择mignon 。

43. 43 。 Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.而不是盖洛服务,夜间列车明年感恩节。

44. 44 。 Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a “croaking” noise.公开调查,只是如何缓慢,你可以做一个“ croaking ”的噪音。

45. 45 。 Honk and wave to strangers.按喇叭和波向陌生人。

46. 46 。 Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.服饰不仅在服装颜色的猎人橙。

47. 47 。 Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.改变渠道,五分钟结束前,每查看。

48. 48 。 Tape pieces of “Sweating to the Oldies” over climactic parts of rental movies.磁带件“出汗向oldies ”高潮部分出租的电影。

49. 49 。 Wear your pants backwards.穿你的裤子倒退。

50. 50 。 Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.拒绝坐下,一间餐厅,根本吃他们的互补性铸币厂由现金登记。

51. 51 。 Begin all your sentences with “ooh la la!”开始您所有的句子与“户外香格里拉香格里拉” !

52. 52 。 ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.只有在输入大写。

53. 53 。 only type in lowercase.只有在输入小写。

54. 54 。 dont use any punctuation either不要使用任何标点符号,要么

55. 55 。 Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.购买了大量的橙交通圆筒和重新路由整个街道。

56. 56 。 Pay for your dinner with pennies.支付您的晚宴,与美分。

57. 57 。 Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.配合静钟到您所有的衣服。

58. 58 。 Repeat everything someone says, as a question.重复一切有人说,作为一个问题。

59. 59 。 Write “X - BURIED TREASURE” in random spots on all of someone’s roadmaps.写的“ X -埋宝”在随机点,对所有有人的路线图。

60. 60 。 Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.可否告知大家你满足您的个人肯尼迪暗杀/飞碟/法院组织辛普森的阴谋论。

61. 61 。 Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: “Do you hear that?” “What?” “Never mind, its gone now.”重复以下的交谈十多倍: “你听到吗? ” “什么? ” , “不要紧,它经历了现在” 。

62. 62 。 Light road flares on a birthday cake.光路耀斑在一个生日蛋糕。

63. 63 。 Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.漫步左右,一间餐厅,要求其他diners为他们的香菜。

64. 64 。 Leave tips in Bolivian currency.离开的秘诀在玻利维亚的货币。

65. 65 。 Demand that everyone address you as “Conquistador.”要求每个人的地址为“ conquistador ” 。

66. 66 。 At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.在自助洗衣店,使用一式干燥机为您的每个袜子。

67. 67 。 When Christmas caroling, sing “Jingle Bells, Batman smells” until physically restrained.当圣诞caroling ,唱“静乐编钟,蝙蝠侠气味” ,直到身体克制。

68. 68 。 Wear a cape that says “Magnificent One.”穿哥连臣角说: “宏伟的一” 。

69. 69 。 As much as possible, skip rather than walk.尽可能多地跳过,而非步行。

70. 70 。 Stand over someone’s shoulder, mumbling, as they read.站在某人的肩膀, mumbling ,因为他们阅读。

71. 71 。 Pretend your computer’s mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.假装您的计算机的鼠标是一个波段无线电对讲机,和交谈。

72. 72 。 Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin.尝试扮演威廉告诉序曲借助于底部,您的下巴。 When nearly done, announce “no, wait, I messed it up,” and repeat.时近做了,宣布: “不,等待,我搞砸了, ”和重复。

73. 73 。 Drive half a block.驱动器半座。

74. 74 。 Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.可否告知他人,他们只存在于你的想象力。

75. 75 。 Ask people what gender they are.请问人的性别是什么,他们是。

76. 76 。 Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.舔填写的所有oreos ,并把Cookie的零件回。

77. 77 。 Cultivate a Norwegian accent.培养一名挪威口音。 If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.如果挪威语,影响南部drawl 。

78. 78 。 Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don’t want to fall off “in case the big one comes”.经常用手铐将自己的家具,通知好奇,你不想脱落“的情况下,大的一来” 。

79. 79 。 Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as “Feliz Navidad”, the Archies “Sugar” or the Mr. Rogers theme song.故意哼声的歌曲将继续提出在合作,工人开动脑筋,如“ feliz navidad ” , archies “糖” ,或者罗杰斯先生的主题曲。

80. 80 。 While making presentations, occasionally bob your head.同时使介绍,偶尔鲍勃在你的头上。 like a parakeet.就像一个parakeet 。

81. 81 。 Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.谎言显然微不足道的东西,如一天中的时间。

82. 82 。 Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.离开您的圣诞灯,并点燃了,直到9月。

83. 83 。 Change your name to “AaJohn Aaaaasmith” for the great glory of being first in the phone book.改变您的姓名,以“ aajohn aaaaasmith ”伟大的荣耀,被首先在电话簿。 Claim it’sa Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each “a.”声称这是夏威夷的名称,并要求每个人发音“甲”

84. 84 。 Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.静坐在您的前院指出,吹风机向来往的汽车,看看是否他们放缓。

85. 85 。 Chew on pens that you’ve borrowed.咀嚼对笔您借来的。

86. 86 。 Wear a LOT of cologne.穿了很多科隆。

87. 87 。 Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your “superior mental processing.”听取33rpm的纪录,在45rpm的速度,并要求以更快的速度是必要的,因为你的“上级精神处理” 。

88. 88 。 Sing along at the opera.星沿在歌剧。

89. 89 。 Mow your lawn with scissors. mow您的草坪与剪刀。

90. 90 。 At a golf tournament, chant “swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!”在高尔夫比赛,高唱“摆batabatabata - suhwing -击球手” !

91. 91 。 Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your “imaginary friend.”请问女服务员为一个额外的席位为您的“想象朋友” 。

92. 92 。 Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.去一个诗歌演奏及问,为什么每首诗并不押韵。

93. 93 。 Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook.请问您的合作,工人神秘的问题,然后Scribble用他们的答案在一个笔记本。 Mutter something mutter的东西
about “psychological profiles.”有关“心理概况” 。

94. 94 。 Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a “magic picture.”盯住静态对电视和索赔,您可以看到“魔术图片” 。

95. 95 。 Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.选择同一首歌就自动点唱机50倍。

96. 96 。 Never make eye contact.从来没有作出目光接触。

97. 97 。 Never break eye contact.从来没有打破目光接触。

98. 98 。 Construct elaborate “crop circles” in your front lawn.兴建阐述“麦田怪圈”在你前面的草坪。

99. 99 。 Construct your own pretend “tricorder,” and “scan” people with it, announcing the results.构建您自己假装“ tricorder , ”和“扫描”以人有了它,公布结果。

100. 100 。 Make appointments for the 31st of September.作出任命为9月31日。

101. 101 。 Invite lots of people to other people’s parties.邀请有很多人给其他人的党派。


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