Military service might be fun as can be derived from these images!
Continue reading ‘Military Jokes and Humor’
Tag Archive for 'Humor'
Can you imagine what these guys are gonna feel the next moment after the shoot? I hope I will never be in these kind of situation.
Continue reading ‘Ouch That is gonna hurt like hell’
58 Actual Newspaper Headlines (collected by journalists)
1. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says
2. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
3. Saftey Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
4. Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case
5. Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
6. Farmer Bill Dies In House
7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
8. Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?
9. Stud Tires Out
10. Prostitutes Appeal To Pope
Continue reading ‘58 Real Newspaper Headlines’
1. Sing the Batman theme continuously.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for best sex I ever paid for.”
3. Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of “Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip…”
5. Order Pizza to other people’s house.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <
7. Speak only in a “robot” voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will “swipe your grub”.
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
Continue reading ‘One Hundred and One Ways to Annoy People’
Oui, the biker frog, is fond of doing different cool tricks, among which sitting on a miniature motorcycle is probably the most famous. According to Oui’s owner ‘he loves playing with human toys and posing for photographs’. I love it!
Continue reading ‘The Biker Frog - Oui’
Questions that have Confused humankind
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”
Who was the first person to say “See that chicken there….I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it’s butt.”
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas?
Continue reading ‘Questions That Have Confused Humankind Forever’
An American company and a Japanese company decided to engage in a boat race. Both race teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance levels. On the big day they felt ready. The Result is the Japanese team won by a mile!
The American team was discouraged by the loss. The morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommend the corrective action.
The consultant’s finding: The Japanese team had 8 people rowing and 1 steering. The American team had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering. After one year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the consultant firm concluded that too many people were steering and not enough were rowing on the American team. So as race day neared again the following year, the American team’s management structure was completely reorganized. (Sound familiar?)
The new structure: Four steering managers, three area steering supervisors, and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat, to provide a work incentive. That year, the Japanese won by two miles!!!
Humiliated, the American corporation laid off the rower for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for discovering the problem!!!
We All love blonde jokes so here is my favorite: A blonde girl walks into our local garage and asked for a “seven-hundred-ten”.We all looked at each other confused.
Another customer asked, “What is a ’seven-hundred-ten’?”
She replied, “You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one..” She said that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there.
The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like.
She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710.
Still perplexed, he then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked “is there a ‘710′ on this car?”
She pointed and said, “Of course, it’s right there”.
If you’re not sure what a 710 is > > >>
Continue reading ‘Seven Hundred Ten - Blonde Joke’
No pics in this post, but these are really funny:
On a train from London to Manchester, an American was telling off the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment.
“You English are too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much. Look at me… I have Italian blood, French blood, a little Australian blood, and some Swedish blood. What do you say to that?”
The Englishman replied, with a smile, “Very sporting of your Mother.”
Continue reading ‘British Jokes’
